Life Changing Updates

Well, it certainly has been a long time since I last posted.  Over a year, wow.

A lot has happened in the last year.  And our lives are forever on a different trajectory now.

Life hadn't been great for quite some time.  Things happened that can never be changed or taken back.  As a result, I filed for divorce in April.  Things were pretty messy for quite a while.  But, I'm happy to say that Ryan and I came to an agreement in mediation back in October and we are pretty much divorced at this point. All that is left to do is present it to the judge in December and have the order signed.

In April, Madeleine and I moved in with my parents.  There aren't even words to express the deep gratitude I feel toward them for taking us in when they did.  I know, I know, "that's what parents are supposed to do."  Sure.  And I'd do it for my children.  But, they didn't HAVE to.  Financially they have been a Godsend.  The support and help and love they have shown the two of us is indescribable.  I have to give them a lot of credit for my ability to bounce back from a truly stressful and life changing event.  My mom has been amazing on a daily basis.  Shoot, she'd make the most spectacular husband ever...maybe I should marry her.  Madeleine absolutely LOVES living with grandma and grandpa.  And I hope one day she will be able to remember just how much time she was able to spend with them during these last 7 months.  I honestly don't know what we would have done without my parents.  Today would certainly look quite different than it does.  I will forever be indebted to them.

My friends.  Man, they have all been spectacular too.  I have found comfort, support, shoulders, advice, and a good kick in the pants from all of them.  Sometimes I think my best friends knew me better than I knew myself.  I think they knew before I even did that my marriage was over.  They have helped me immensely to get back to the girl I used to be.  The happy, fun, motivated person I used to be.  I recently went to a wedding with some college friends and I had several people tell me that "college Melanie" was back and that I was giving off such a wonderful vibe again.  Those words meant so much to me.  I didn't realize how much I had lost and how miserable I was until I removed myself from the situation and started over.  My friends are my rock and I know they'll be there for me during this next chapter in my life!

Also in April, grandpa got sick.  It's been a very long road for the family, especially my dad who has basically been living with him since then.  He's 94 and dad promised to get him to 100.  So, we're all hoping that he pulls though and bounces back yet again.  I try to spend as much time with him as I can, and bring M to visit because I know he loves to see her.

In June my sister got married.  I was an absolutely beautiful, fun, and wonderful wedding.  I was blessed to be the Maid (Matron?) of Honor.  And it was amazing to be there for Ashley & Eddie to get married.  They have been so solid for the last several months for me too.  Lots of love and help and support.  They even babysat M for an entire weekend so that momma could go away with the girls up north.  Don't know what I would do without the two of them in my life.  I'm a lucky, lucky girl!

In July I had two pretty big things happen.  First, I went to North Carolina to meet 2 fellow preemie mommas that I've been internet friends with since before the kids were born.  These women have become a part of my daily life.  We talk nearly every day about everything.  They were with me while my marriage was crumbling and I felt I couldn't tell anyone IRL.  They were there to help pick up the pieces when things went bad.  They've been there for every hospital stay, doctors visit, sickness, and frustration I've had along this road with Madeleine.  I'm not sure I could find 2 more wonderful women to call my very close friends.  And I don't think it's a coincidence that we were put into each other's lives.  We've needed each other many times over the last 3+ years.  We've given advice, support, love, everything.

Second, I met someone.  I wasn't looking for a relationship.  Heck, at this point my divorce wasn't even close to being final and certainly looked as if it would drag on for the foreseeable future.  But sometimes, someone else has ideas for the road your life should take.  And I have to thank my grandpa for meeting this man.  But for grandpa being sick and falling, he would have never been placed in my life.  He is an amazing man that so far has won over all the friends and family he has met despite the circumstances.  I'm truly lucky to have him in my life, and I'm quite looking forward to what the future holds.

In October, we went to James & Colleen's wedding.  It was a wonderful even and I'm so glad we were able to celebrate it with them.  I was able to see a lot of friends and "family" from college.  And I *finally* got to meet Miss. Brooke.  Her and Blake are just too cute and I love them like my own daughter.

And here we are in November.  A full year removed from the last time I posted.  A lot has happened, even more than I'm going to write there.  But, life is so incredibly different.  Different in an absolutely wonderful way.  I am happy.  Madeleine is happy.  We have a whole new life open ahead of us and the possibilities are endless.

Sometime in December, Madeleine and I will be moving back into our house.  I'm feeling bittersweet about this move.  It will be so nice to get back to a new "normal," but I will also miss my mom a lot.  Madeleine will miss her dearly.  It will be weird for a while having it be just the 2 of us.  But, it will be good.

And, some of the best news of all?  Madeleine is doing WONDERFULLY!!!!  She finally began to put on some weight and this summer made it all the was to 3rd percentile on the growth chart!  WOO HOOO!!!!  She's been healthy since we began her airway clearance system in January.  Yes, you read that right.  Healthy!  NO RESPIRATORY INFECTIONS!!!!  AAAAND, in October she had a clear swallow study.  How?  I have no idea as all the doctors told us she'd hopefully grow out of this around 5 years old.  So, in October we stopped thickening her milk and Pediasure.  Water is still being thickened until we meet with pulmonology in December.  It's been a long and arduous 3 years healthwise for M, but it looks like we finally turned a corner sometime this summer and are on the road to a completely healthy 3 year old.  Yes, 3 year old...in 10 days she will be 3.  Where has the time gone???  And since there hasn't been one posted in some time...here's M:

I haven't yet decided if I'm going to maintain this blog, create a new one, or just be done blogging all together. I'll mull it over for a while and then decide.

So, there it is.  The last year in a nutshell!  Love you all!