The Parent Test

I read an article today about "The Parent Test" that has recently gone viral.  It gave me a few laughs.  Thought I'd share it here:

Test 1: Preparation

Women: To prepare for pregnancy

1. Put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag down the front.
2. Leave it there.
3. After 9 months remove 5% of the beans.

Men: To prepare for children

1. Go to a local chemist, tip the contents of your wallet onto the counter and tell the pharmacist to help himself
2. Go to the supermarket. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home. Pick up the newspaper and read it for the last time.

Test 2: Knowledge
Find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels and how they have allowed their children to run wild.
Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behaviour.
Enjoy it. It will be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.

Test 3: Nights

To discover how the nights will feel:

1. Walk around the living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 4 - 6kg, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
2.  At 10pm, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 11pm and walk the bag around the living room until 1am.
4. Set the alarm for 3am.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a cup of tea.
6. Go to bed at 2.45am.
7. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs in the dark until 4am.
9. Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up when it goes off.
10. Make breakfast.
Keep this up for 5 years. LOOK CHEERFUL.

Test 4: Dressing Small Children
1. Buy a live octopus and a string bag.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that no arms hangout.
Time Allowed: 5 minutes.

Test 5: Cars

1. Forget the BMW. Buy a practical 5-door wagon.
2. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
3. Get a coin. Insert it into the CD player.
4. Take a box of chocolate biscuits; mash them into the back seat.
5. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Test 6: Going for a walk

a. Wait.
b. Go out the front door.
c. Come back in again.
d. Go out.
e. Come back in again.
f. Go out again.
g. Walk down the front path.
h. Walk back up it.
i. Walk down it again.
j. Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.
k. Stop, inspect minutely and ask at least 6 questions about every piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue and dead insect along the way.
l. Retrace your steps.
m. Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours come out and stare at you.
n. Give up and go back into the house.
You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.

Test 7: Conversations with children
Repeat everything you say at least 5 times.

Test 8: Grocery Shopping
1. Go to the local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child - a fully grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat.
2. Buy your weekly groceries without letting the goat(s) out of your sight.
3. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.
Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Test 9: Feeding a 1 year-old
1. Hollow out a melon
2. Make a small hole in the side
3. Suspend the melon from the ceiling and swing it side to side
4. Now get a bowl of soggy cornflakes and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon while pretending to be an aeroplane.
5. Continue until half the cornflakes are gone.
6. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on the floor.

Test 10:TV
1. Learn the names of every character from the Wiggles, Barney, Teletubbies and Disney.
2. Watch nothing else on television for at least 5 years.

Test 11:  Mess
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out:

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains
2. Hide a fish behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flowerbeds and then rub them on clean walls. Cover the stains with crayon. How does that look?
4. Empty every drawer/cupboard/storage box in your house onto the floor and proceed with step 5.
5. Drag randomly items from one room to another room and leave them there.

Test 12: Long Trips with Toddlers
1. Make a recording of someone shouting 'Mummy' repeatedly. Important Notes: No more than a 4 second delay between each Mummy. Include occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet.
2. Play this tape in your car, everywhere you go for the next 4 years.
You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Test 13:Conversations
1. Start talking to an adult of your choice.
2. Have someone else continually tug on your shirt hem or shirt sleeve while playing the Mummy tape listed above.
You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

Test 14: Getting ready for work
1. Pick a day on which you have an important meeting.
2. Put on your finest work attire.
3. Take a cup of cream and put 1 cup of lemon juice in it
4. Stir
5. Dump half of it on your nice silk shirt
6. Saturate a towel with the other half of the mixture
7. Attempt to clean your shirt with the same saturated towel
8. Do not change (you have no time).
9. Go directly to work
You are now ready to have children. ENJOY!!

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2218515/Think-ready-children-Hilarious-new-parent-test-taking-mummy-blogs-storm-MIGHT-just-off.html#ixzz29YviArvL

Cider Mill with Jill & Aaron

One of our annual traditions is to head to the cider mill with Jill & Aaron.  We go to a mill we've never been to before every year.

This year we headed out to Three Cedars.  Ryan and I were there last weekend to get pumpkins, but we've never actually been there for cider and doughnuts.

It was kind of a gross day today, but it was really nice because Three Cedars has indoor seating with HEAT!  YAY!  Jill and I both had to use the bathroom and were surprised to see it was a building and not outhouses.  Except, when we got in there they were just outhouses build into stalls.  LOL.

Here are some pics Jill shot of our trip!

 They had a whole paved circle with various tractors for the kids to ride.  I found a bitty baby one for M...

 I don't think she was a fan.

 Chickens!  She kept trying to pet them and wasn't happy I wouldn't let her stick her fingers in the chicken wire.

 Sack of potatoes!

I'm glad we got to hang out with Jill and Aaron!  It's always one of my favorite things to do!  Next year we'll have TWO little ones to bring to the cider mill!!!

Happy Birthday Blake!!!

The Ramsayers (and Winslows) would like to wish you a very happy 1st birthday Blake!

We're all sorry we can't be out there to celebrate with you, but we hope you have a blast!!!  Make sure you smash that cake up and get it everywhere!

PUMPKINS!

Today we decided to go shopping and then take M to the pumpkin patch.  I really wanted to go to a U-Pick patch so we could take a hay ride out to the field, pick our pumpkins, and hay ride back.  Buuuuut, when we got out to the patch it was 5:00 and the thermometer on my car was reading a balmy 45.  Thank goodness part of our shopping earlier included getting M a winter coat, hat & mittens.  We bundled her up in anticipation of heading off on the tractor to pick out pumpkins.  We had to park kind of far away, and by the time we got half way to the where the tractor leaves from, I decided that my hands were already ice cubes, M's eyes were watering uncontrollably, and I decided we'd just pick a pumpkin from the already picked ones.  There's always next year!  So, enjoy some new pics of Miss. M with the pumpkins!

 This face kills me!

 Someone got stuck in the pumpkins...

Dinner Cruise: Octoberfest!

Friday night Ashley, Eddie, Ryan and I all headed out for a dinner cruise on the Ovation courtesy of my mom and dad. 

It was a cold and rainy day, so we knew we'd be spending the trip in the boat and not on the upper deck, lol.  We had a great time.  We boarded the boat first because we were "captain's circle" and got a glass of champagne to sip on while everyone else boarded.

Dinner was great...beef tenderloin, sweet potato torta, apple & gouda brats, and spaetzel.  There were hors d'oeuvres all of which were also pretty tasty.  The desserts were to die for.  They were all bite sized and included pumpkin truffles, chocolate covered strawberries, lemon meringue, apple crisps, etc.  I tried one of almost everything and had several strawberries.

It was open bar.  The boys had some dark ale and Ashley and I ordered the white wine.  I don't know what kind it was, only that it was a Michigan winery...but it was really good.  Sweet and VERY smooth.  They ran out about 1/2 way through the cruise :(

The band was awesome.  Although a country band was not exactly what I was expecting for an Octoberfest cruise!  Ashley and I liked them so much we each bought a CD.  They are out of Lansing and I'm kind of surprised I'd never heard of them before after living out there for 3 years.

Here are some pics from the cruise:

 There's the main floor of the ship.  There were two others, 2nd floor had the bar, and the 3rd floor was open air...and it was WAY too cold to explore up there!

 Detroit coast featuring the Ren Cen & BCBS building light up pink in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness!

After the boat docked, we stuck around on the ship for a little while before we decided to head over to MGM.  I told Ryan we could go if he got up with Maddie in the morning...he agreed...so the night was still young.  We had a good time playing penny slots.  Eddie walked away making money.  Ashley lost money.  Ryan made money (enough to cover my loss on the night) and then proceeded to waste it all.  So, we were down a combined $80 on the night, lol.

Afterward we headed to my parents house so we could pick up Maddie and Ashley & Eddie could pick up their dog Mackie.

As luck would have it, Maddie slept until 9 am, so Ryan didn't even have to get up early with her.  Tomorrow is my day and you KNOW she's going to get up at 4 am, lol.

I'd like to do this dinner cruise again, but in the summer when we can sit up on the top deck with a beautiful warm summer night.  Hopefully they have one on the weekend next year that isn't in October!

M's Follow-Up Appointment

This morning we went back to the pediatrician to reassess her breathing and weight gain.

Her current stats:
15lbs 5oz  (off the full term growth chart; 3% on preemie growth chart)
26 1/2" (3-5% on full term chart; 10-25% on preemie chart)

She's putting on weight again, which is the good news.  But, it's not as good of a gain as the pediatrician would like.  She's not concerned, but said to still push the high fat foods and try to get her to drink as much formula as possible.  I also have to start giving her a vitamin D supplement since she's not drinking as much formula as we'd like in a day.

Looks like at this point we still have a long and lean kid.  She must take after my mom.

As for her breathing, despite having another cold (thanks daycare), she's looking pretty good.  Her breathing is still on the fast side, but not out of the normal range.  No coughing in quite some time.  Haven't noticed any retractions in a while.  Her pulse-ox today was 97 which is good.  There was no evidence of wheezing (and I haven't noticed any at home either).  So, our plan of action is to keep her on a low dose of the inhaled steroids for the duration of cold and flu season (read: until spring).  This should help keep all of the colds from settling in her lungs and having to go thru what we did the last month and a half.  I asked about consequences of long term steroid use.  Obviously we have to keep them out of her eyes (which we do now) because it can cause cataracts later in life.  She said there really shouldn't be anything for our course of action.  However, a study did just come out recently that children who were on moderate dosing of steroids for long term (i.e. several years) had a loss of 1 cm of height, or about a half inch.  But, M will be on a low does (not moderate) and it shouldn't be for years...it should just be for the winter this year.  The hope is that when she gets a cold in the spring (and is off steroids) that it won't settle in her lungs and that would be a good indicator that she's grown out of whatever this is.  Fingers crossed that's how this goes.

What else?  Oh, she got her 2nd and final dosing of the flu shot.  So, in 2 weeks she should be completely immunized against the strains they are predicting for this year.  She was a real trooper with her shot today.  She only cried for about a minute and then was a-ok.  Definitely one of our better shot experiences.

She does not qualify for Synagis this year.  I'm not really sure how I feel about that.  On the one hand with the breathing issues, RSV scares me even more.  But, on the other it'll be nice to save her several shots this year.  I looked at the criteria already and knew that was going to be the answer.  There's absolutely no category that she fits under to qualify.  We'll just have to be careful this year again.  But, I'm hoping that the daily steroid treatments will keep things in check even if she does end up catching something nasty. 

So, all in all, it was a pretty good appointment with encouraging news.  Maybe M will gain a ton of weight during the holidays like everyone else does ;)

First Steps

It's at times like last night that I wish I had a continually running video camera in my house.  It was like any other night.  M ate dinner: beef stroganoff and corn!  She got herself super messy, so Ryan took her upstairs for a bath.  After bath time, we sat down on the floor to play.  And all of the sudden she decided to walk from the ottoman to her toy in the middle of the floor.

I don't know why, but I was really surprised.  I got all excited, screaming, and clapped like a mad woman.  M got a HUGE grin on her face.  She was clearly quite proud of her accomplishment. 

Ryan, unfortunately, was upstairs and didn't see it.  So, when he came down I pulled out the video camera and started filming while we tried to encourage her to do it again.  She didn't.  Stubborn just like her parents.  There were a couple times she took one step, but nothing like she did before.

I wanted to post a video or picture of her walking, but alas, was unable to get one.  So, you all will just have to wait until I can catch her doing it.  Until then, here's a random M pic from this past weekend: